Okay, so I’m superficial. I like to simplify things, boil them down. Also, I’m not in Barcelona, so I can afford to make aloof comments about news developments thousands of miles away. I’ll try to filter things for you — here’s some highlights of things happening at the big Mobile World Congress show in Spain this week:
- Microsoft launched Windows Double-secret Mobile System Mobile Phone 7, or something like that. Here’s a cool visual tour. Actually it’s called Windows Phone 7. The old Windows Mobile was called Windows Mobile. Why the name change? Lord if I know. Obviously, they pay expensive consultants to make these decisions. They didn’t stop there — they may be renaming Windows Mobile 6.5 as “Windows Phone Classic.” As if an operating system can be classic, like a Cola. I know one thing, if you have both “Windows” and “7” in the name, it doesn’t exactly scream cutting edge, new, and earth-shattering, does it?
- Quite possibly the dumbest headline on the Microsoft news: “Will Windows Phone 7 Make Microsoft the Next Cool Tech stock.” Uh, no, Mr. Conrad de Aenlle. First of all, Windows Mobile is, like, a dust mite on the belly of the Microsoft beast. And Microsoft is too old to be a “cool tech stock.” That might be could because cool tech stocks trade with P/Es of 90, and Microsoft’s is 14. Get to work on that next story concept to sell your gullible editors.
- My old friends at Light Reading have a Gadget Watch slideshow. It’s like being there, with tiny cars and everything!
- Steve Jobs was named Mobile Industry Personality of the Year. Not exactly, “Man of the Year,” is it. Nor is like “Best Actor.” But he’s the best “mobile personality.” Does that mean you can fit his personality in your pocket? I doubt it.
- Google… yes… Google. Heard of them, have you? They announced at Mobile World Congress (MWC) that their mobile OS Android will support Adobe’s Flash, the dominant animation and video standard that the Mobile Industry Personality of the Year doesn’t like and refuses to include in his iEmpire. As I mentioned here, how Flash plays out in the mobile market should be interesting.
- Google has an Android-powered tablet coming, too. Now things get interesting, Mr. Mobile Industry Personality of the Year!
- Fritz Nelson has a point: How will IT departments manage all these mobile devices? Bawhwhaahaahahah! Good luck! It’ll be like deciphering NBC’s Olympic Broadcast schedule!
- Skype on mobile phones. Now, I wonder, really, what operator really wants this application near their phone? Suddenly you have free video calls and messaging from Japan to Dubai. Isn’t that like handing out free beer at hockey games?
- Most underwhelming announcement: RIM announces it’s “new WebKit Browser.” Um, okay.
- Ray LeMaistre talking to a “bunch of companies.” Let ’em have it, Ray!
- Block that metaphor: “Hands-On With the Motorola Quench.” Ewwww.
- Sony Ericsson hopes new hpones will be big in the US. Yes, they’re also hoping that European football picks up some steam in Texas. And they’re looking for Communism to penetrate deep into Wall Street. And shortly, at any moment, Califonians will start smoking Gaulois cigarettes, looking just like this. It’s coming soon, you wait and see
- Symbian announced it’s Symbian 3 platform. This is kind of in the vein of the new Microsoft OS name, but they did not take the naming convention as seriously. My suggestion: Crusty Old Euro Coal-burning Mobile Phone OS Release 3.
- Holy cow, there’s a Puma phone? Does it come with matching sneakers? Can you wear it in your sock? They should market an OS too. It could be called Puma’s Mobile OS.
- Another ground-breaking headline from the old Grey Lady: “Tech Industry Catches Its Breath.” Cleary this headline was not stolen.
- The Mobile Industry Personality of the Year didn’t even feel like bringing his company. How rude.
Is that 20 yet? Oh well, I’m tired. Make up the rest.